Fear Me?
by cookmeup
Summary: When Vlad thinks he's going to get Danny's worst fear, Danny shows him how wrong he is. [Complete!]
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is my first oneshot. So it's just some fun thoughts put in DP form.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Danny Phantom.**

* * *

Chapter 1

"Where the hell am I?" Danny asked the darkness.

Then he spotted a pink ecto-blast coming his way.

"Oh. Yah. Of course. Of course you have something to do with this."

"Daniel, I hope you realize that you are here for a good reason. It may, be only to benefit myself and possibly kill you, but you get the point," Vlad replied quite casually.

"Actually, I don't. So let's cut the small talk. Why am I here?"

"Well, I don't like to reveal my plans before they are put into effect, but for you, I'll make an exception." Vlad smirked and Danny glared at him, half expecting him blackmail him into getting his mom's pager number. "I've brought you here to find out what your worst fear is. I'm not going to tell you how it works just yet. Just tell me your worst fear and I'll shove you in a room and make it come true."

"Why would I tell you my worst fear? That doesn't make any since for me to just come out and tell you my worst fear. You're not a good planner are you?"

Just then a soft meow broke the silence.

"Oh my god. You got a cat! I new you couldn't be in denial for _too_ long."

"Oh. That's not my cat. I'm pet-sitting for a friend." Vlad spat out quickly.

"Right. 'Cuz you have tons of friends." Danny said sarcastically. "So, Miss Puss, I notice you've been keeping Vlad company. Must be torture."

"Her name is Bit-Bit, don't call her Miss Puss!" Vlad replied sharply, but turned the other way when he herd Danny laugh.

"Not your cat, eh?"

"Don't change the subject. We're talking about your worst fear." Vlad said as he shot a pink ecto-blast at Danny.

"Oh, and why is your ecto-blast pink?" Danny asked "Don't you think that's a bit fruity?"

"Shut it! Worst Fear! Now!" Vlad yelled and Bit-Bit quickly left.

"Fine." Danny said smoothly. "I'm not going to be leaving her anytime soon so… my worst fear is a square pizza."

"Thank you! Finally! Now go in that room on the third floor, at the end of the second hallway on the left, to the sixth room on the right, at wait for your worst fear to become your life!" Vlad screamed and laughed.

"Explain that again?"

"Fine I'll just take you. You know, you really should work on your math. I herd Technus is tutoring as a side job. Get this; he shouted it out all over the Ghost Zone because he forgot he had installed a new audio system to himself! How embarrassing! His plans are always getting foiled by you!" Vlad said with an excited gleam in his eye.

"Ironic. _Him_ always getting beat my _me_. Hmm… but I know I won't _ev_er get out of your 'Room of Reality'." Danny mumbled, "At least I'll be getting pizza out of this."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Okay, I know it seems like there is no plot involved, but there is, just keep reading after this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Danny Phantom nor do I have any relations to William Hung.**

Chapter 2

Vlad lead Danny into a large, dark room. It was completely empty. Not even a single green or gold decoration. Vlad left the room and Danny heard the faint _click_ of the door being locked. Which, Danny figured, was stupid to lock the door. There wasn't a ghost shield around the room. Couldn't he just phase out? Vlad couldn't be this thick, could he? He figured he should wait it out until his pizza arrived.

Then he heard Vlad voice echo through the large room. In two of the corners of the room, there were speakers. Just what he needed. To here Vlad's voice amplified.

"Daniel. I want to prepare you for your Worst Fear. Behold…the square pizza!" Vlad yelled.

A square pizza appeared on a small table that Danny hadn't noticed before then.

"Wow! How did you do that? I'm deathly afraid of Coke too! Are you going to send in a Coke?" Danny asked, excitedly.

"Oh. Are you afraid of my Fear Room now? Hmmm… Well, truthfully, I have no idea how it works. I type in your fears, and it appears in this room. It monitors your heart rate and breathing too, to see how scared you are. Funny. It was built here accidentally. Those contractors actually did something good. I used to make the 'help' sleep here." Vlad chuckled, "And what size Coke are you afraid of? 16 ounce, 2 liter?

"Err…2 liter."

As Danny chowed down, Vlad spoke up, "Your heart rate is surprisingly low, are you sure this is your worst fear?"

"Oh. No. This isn't my _worst _fear, but it is a fear. I only like round pizza."

"Well tell me your worst fear then! I want your worst fear!"

Danny thought for a second and replied, "Well, I want to wait to tell you my _worst _fear. These things take time, you know… I'm going to have to go through the 5 stages of denial. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance." Danny thought about what he had just said and repressed it. He was listening to Jazz a little _too_ much.

"Fine. I accept your bargain. Tell me another fear."

"Okay…Remember William Hung from American Idol?" Danny said, hardly suppressing a huge laughing fit at the thought of William Hung showing up in the room.

"Oh Yah! I loved that little guy. Ah… season three, right? Your afraid of him?"

"A little. He could almost take over the world like Ember with _that_ singing."

"True. True. William Hung, coming up!"

Just then, William Hung showed up on a lit stage.

"Can you sing 'She Bangs' for me, Mr. Hung?" Danny asked.

"Sure, little friend." William replied and went into a Ricky Martin song while Danny laughed his head off.

"Hey Vlad? I'm afraid of video cameras too." Danny shouted over William Hung's singing and a few seconds later, a camera popped onto his lap. He started taping as William went into a few odd dance moves. "_You know your living the 'American Dream' when William Hung appears at will." _Danny thought.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Okay, some more stuff. I wanted to use Steve Irwin, (because he rocks) but thought it may be offensive to some people under the circumstances. Okay, and stick with me for a plot. It was ruined when I took out Steve Irwin, so I have to backtrack a bit. And we're going to "assume" that everything you may not understand has happened. This is my first story, your not missing anything, in case you get lost.**

**Disclaimer: I have no relations to DP characters or Harry Potter characters.**

Chapter 3

William Hung disappeared, but luckily, Danny had time to deposit the video footage of him singing in his pocket, before Vlad took away the camera too.

"That had to be a really big fear," Vlad said, "You could hardly breathe!"

"Yah, I know," Danny replied with a smile. His abs were still hurting from the hysterics he was in a minutes ago. He thought about what his next fear should be. "Hey, I'm really scared of those awesome dudes that do magic and stuff. Maybe they should come."

"What awesome dudes?" Vlad asked "I love how well you explain things." He added.

"I dunno. Those dudes. You know…those dudes." Danny said lamely.

"These guys?" Vlad asked as three kids popped up.

"No!" Danny yelled, "This is the Harry Potter cast!"

"Sorry. Be more specific next time." Vlad explained promptly.

"So, we meet again, Mr. Potter." Danny said as he glared at him.

"So it would seem, Mr. Phantom," Harry replied, "I see you kept that grudge."

"Yes. I have. Next time you try to hold a séance, I won't go so easy on your frog."

"Okay, first off, it wasn't my frog; second, it wasn't a séance, it was a school assignment."

"Whatever it was, it was some creepy-ass voodoo."

"Bloody hell, Harry!" Ron butted in.

"And do you have to say that every 20 seconds?" Danny asked, annoyed.

"Yes." Ron said quietly.

"Hermione!" Danny said a little louder then expected as he noticed the girl who was being quieter then at their last meeting, "How are you?"

Harry and Ron seemed shocked by the sudden mood change and both blinked a few times. "Bloody hell, Harry!"

"Hello, Danny," She said and smiled. Then she got next to him and whispered, "You never wrote…"

"Sorry Hermione," Danny whispered back, "It turns out we don't get Owl Post over here."

"I missed you. These two are completely clueless. My two best friends are boys and neither has tried a thing on me." She said.

"Oy…I know what you mean…" Danny replied as the two wrapped into a hug.

"Umm… I hate to interrupt but, bloody hell, Harry! Those two were about to 'get-it-on'!" Ron shouted.

"Seriously, will you stop that? How would you like it if I said 'Holy British Wizards, Batman!' every other minute?" Danny asked, very irritated.

"Well, I suppose that I wouldn't like it very much. I'm sorry." Ron mumbled as he looked down at his twisting feet.

"Okay. I guess everyone should leave now," Danny said, "I hope you all learned a very valuable lesson today: Ron, don't overuse phrases, Harry, stop hosting séances and Hermione, I'm going to need a form of contact that doesn't have to do with birds. Seriously. I attemped with a canary but it just crashed into the window."

"Sure! I'll give you my e-mail!" Hermione said gleefully and Danny smacked himself in the face. Who would've guessed. E-mail.

"Alright Vlad, I think we're done here." Danny said and the three kids disappeared.

"You know, I think we should stop messing with the five stages of denial. I'm just going to grab your friends and force them to tell me your worst fear. This is taking a very long time! I have a dinner date with Tom Cruz and K-Fed. I won't be long, want me to pick you up anything on the way back?" Vlad said over the speakers.

"Sure. Maybe some Twinkies. But reduced fat, I'm on a diet." Danny replied, "Oh and can you pick up 'You, Me and Dupree'? I've been wanting to see that one."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Forgive me. There may not actually be a plot. I've been thinking forever but have no idea how to end this story. Which is a really bad habit of mine, but I will prevail! The story will stop when I want it to! **

**Disclaimer: You already know that I don't own Danny Phantom nor have any relations to any celebrities or brand-names mentioned. But I do have a huge addiction to tabloids. **

Chapter 4

Danny sat in the room for a few minutes wondering if he should just leave. But if he left, he wouldn't get his Twinkies and he'd miss the movie.

Then, he heard Vlad over the speakers again. "Did you miss me?" Vlad asked.

"Was that a rhetorical question?" Danny asked back.

"No. But, anyways, here's your Twinkies." He said as they phased through the wall. "Okay, I have your friends here with me now and they are going to admit to me…your worst fear!"

"That's why we're here? Oh! Yah! I forgot about that! We had that planned didn't we? I mean, it would've been scary if a giant fruit loop came through our wall and kidnapped us for no reason, but this makes tons of sense _now_!" Danny heard Sam yell.

"What did he say his worst fears were before? A pizza? A dancing penguin? Paris Hilton?" Tucker added.

"Oh yah! I forgot I was afraid of making out with Jessica Simpson!" Danny announced to Vlad.

"Is that your final fear?" Vlad asked.

"Definitely. Oh! I'm afraid of Regis too! Can he come too?"

"Leave Regis out of this!"

"Okay…what about Kelly Ripa?"

"No. Settle for Carmen Diaz?"

"Yah. Okay, but not at the same time as Jess. Hmm…can Dane Cook come?"

"Why don't I just throw you a huge party and you can invite all the celebrities you want?"

"Okay! Wait, you can't make-out at a fancy party!"

"Fine. Then you're only getting Pam Anderson."

"I didn't say Pam Anderson, I said Jessica Simpson!"

"Can I please join Danny in the fear room?" Tucker asked Vlad.

"No. I only want Danny's fear."

"Fine! But we're not friends any more Vlad Masters!" Tucker yelled. "But you can still save our non-existant friendship by letting me make out with Camren Diaz..."

"No, that's okay, I'm willing to risk it. Lance Bass is sitting in the lobby. Why don't you go find him?"

"Don't you ever get any _girls_ over?"

"Yes... Maddie."

"That was plural."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Sorry about the lack-of-plot, but you won't be getting any. I was seriously considering a plot, but seriously couldn't think of one so this is my new original ending. I'm thinking about putting up an alternate ending because I had two ideas, but this idea won, so here is the end! **

Chapter 5

"Okay, ya know what? I've had it with you prats! I'm not getting a fear today for you!" Vlad shouted. And distant banging sounds were heard over the announcing system. Danny figured he was banging his head on a nearby wall because he heard Tucker mention something sarcastic about Vlad probably not taking his "Anti-Fruitloop Pills" today.

"Umm, right. Don't mean to butt in, because it sounds like you've got some issues that you're getting out or something along those lines, but…CAN I GET OUT OF HERE?" Danny yelled.

"You can just phase through the wall. I thought you'd be too thick to figure it out, and I didn't want to spend the money I am using on a 27-floor climby-thing for Bit-Bit on installing a ghost shield for you."

Danny opened his mouth to yell at himself but instead started laughing at Vlad's "27-floor climby thing for Bit-Bit" comment. Vlad has tons of money. '_That cat toy must be really expensive…'_ Danny thought as he phased through the wall.

"So, let's go watch _You, Me and Dupree_, shall we?" Vlad asked the three kids. "I'll even turn on the slurpee machine. I only do it for special company."

"Why don't you turn it on more often?" Sam questioned.

"Well, it was fine until I invited over Jack and Maddie. I guess they forgot it didn't have any alcohol. They played a very intimate game of 'strip' checkers while I sat and watched _Legally Blonde_ all alone." Vlad shuddered.

The four friends sat in Vlad's bucket seats in his big, Imax Theater. They all laughed at the same parts and clapped when the ending song stated to come on.

* * *

"I'm so glad that I decided to be evil today," Vlad said "Hey, who wants to start a round of "yo mama" and Michael Jackson jokes?"

Everybody gathered for a group hug.

"Sorry, but you know we can't be together anymore, Vlad," Tucker said softly.

"What?" Vlad asked shakily, "But we just had such a great day together…"

"Look, Vlad, it's not you, it's us. I don't think that we're quite ready for a relationship with an evil guy right now." Danny replied.

"Maybe we can-" Sam started, but was cut off by Vlad who had tears forming in his eyes.

"I thought I ment something more to you-"

"But you-"

"Please. Just go." Vlad said as he turned around. Danny, Sam and Tucker slowly walked into the sunset. Vlad turned around just in time to see them fly off.

"I will never forget those guys…" Vlad said as he popped in _Breakfast at Tiffany's_ and pulled a 6oz. of _Ben and Jerry's_ out of the freezer.

The End

**A/N: Wasn't exactly sure about the break-up scene, but ah well. As the above states…The End…until next time… MuHaHaHa MuHaHaHaHa! Seriously though, I might put up an alternate ending…also stated above.**


	6. Alternate Ending

**A/N: Okay, I still have one last idea for this, so I'll build off it and make it up as I go. Here's the alternate ending I was thinking about. I'm so proud that I'm scraping together another ending, I wasn't too found of the last one. Ah well, here goes…**

**Declaimer: I'm not a millionaire. I don't own a thing that has to do with this story except this laptop, my name and the idea.**

Alternate Ending!

"Hey! Why don't we put Vlad in his own 'Scare Room'?" Tucker yelled, his voice amplified by the speaker as Danny finished a last kiss with Jessica Simpson.

"Danny. I want you to know that I'll never forget you. You were the only one who ever understood me. Those tabloids are jerks. Everybody knows that there is no difference between chicken and tuna. They both come in a can! The press just wants people to think that I'm dumb!" Jessica said.

"Just remember that nobody really can tell the difference and those people just make up a fake taste."

"Thank you." Jessica whispered as she disappeared out of the room.

"Alright. I call Tucker's idea!" Danny yelled as he phased through the wall of Vlad's "Scare Room".

"Sounds good to me." Sam stated and pushed Vlad through the door into his Scare Room.

"Wait! What are you doing? Stop! No!" Vlad screamed but oddly enough didn't do anything else. He aloud himself to be pushed into the room, while screaming against Sam's force.

"I wish I had one of those 'That Was Easy' buttons from Staple's right about now." Tucker sighed.

"Okay, he's in the room…how do we know what his worst fear is?" Sam asked.

"Oh, he has a diary. I saw it on the way in. Right next to Fruitloops and his man-purse." Danny replied promptly.

"It's not a purse; it's a fanny-pack!" Vlad yelled from inside the room.

"And the difference is?" Danny asked. When he got no reply from Vlad, Danny moved on. "I'll go get it. Hopefully his cat doesn't attack me."

A few minutes later, Danny came back with Vlad's diary, which was covered in a pink faux fur with blue leopard print. He tried opening the diary, but it wouldn't budge.

"Ha! Ha!" Vlad laughed from inside room, "It only opens with a password! You kids and your mangy technology will never be able to find out my secrets!"

"Want me to hack into it?" Tucker asked.

"Nah. I think I know what it is anyways" Danny replied. "Lets see: Maddie Masters?"

"Access denied" came a cold robotic voice.

"Hmm. Daniel Masters?"

"Access denied"

"Jack Fenton must die?"

"Access denied"

"Tom Cruz-Masters?"

"Access denied"

"Guess the password was harder then you thought. Too bad the universal password isn't Paulina Fenton." Sam said harshly.

"That's it...Paulina Masters?" Danny asked the diary.

"Access granted"

"Of coarse Paulina will attract all the freaks." Sam said, disgusted.

"Hey! We resent that!" Danny and Tucker chanted. "Well, Danny might not…" Tucker added.

"Hey!"

"To let you know: I only have that password so I can remember Daniel's password." They heard Vlad yell.

"You know my password?" Danny asked.

"It's not that hard." Vlad replied.

"Whatever. Tucker, lets get on finding Vlad's worst fear." Danny said, changing subjects at Sam's glare.

"Well. He's afraid of the hunt. But that's very original, I just watched _Fairly Odd Parents_ last week and Cosmo was afraid of the hunt." Tucker said.

"Dude, you watch too many cartoons." Danny said.

"Dude, you _are_ a cartoon!"

"I don't care, let's get back on track!"

"Oh, here's one, he doesn't want his cat to die."

"We can't kill his cat."

"Why not? He wants to kill your dad."

"Eh. I dunno. Look for something else."

"He's deathly afraid of wheat bread!" Sam said, who was reading over Tucker's shoulder.

"Why is he afraid of wheat bread?" Danny asked.

"Well, he wrote down, that he's afraid wheat bread will come to life in the middle of the night and attack him with butter knives until he slowly bleeds to death." Sam stated.

"Does it say _why_ he thinks that wheat bread is evil?" Danny questioned.

"Nuclear chemicals in the wheat give bread superhuman powers, according to an article in the _National Enquirer_." Tucker stated simply.

"And you know that from memory?" Sam asked.

"Hey, _everything_ in the _National Enquirer_ is worth knowing."

"I think we're spending too much time together. Can we force the fruitloop to make friends with killer wheat bread or are we going to chat about 700lb. cats and mermaid-alien hybrids?" Sam asked sarcastically.

"Lets go, I told my mom that I was going to a strip club. I have to get home before her mind processes what I told her." Tucker said.

The three flew home after setting 534 armed pieces of wheat bread on Vlad. His distant screams could be heard all by the neighbors next door. (However, none of them bothered to look for Vlad, not even his cat, who know models for Fancy Feast.)

**A/N: Killer bread: old joke I used the basic idea for. Password: Vlad is NOT in love with Paulina, in my story, anyways. Yay! The Alternate Ending is over! No More. All done!**


End file.
